can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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