I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
