Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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