they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize