cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
