I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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