did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize