I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My dick has a subreddit
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
