at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
