do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize