forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
