The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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