just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
