Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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