Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
