Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
