that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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