bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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