My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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