I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Randomize
