the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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