were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
