Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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