the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
