So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
