They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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