she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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