I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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