Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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