On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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