One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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