yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize