Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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