my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
