i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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