Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
nutella sex= disaster
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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