I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
