and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
