we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
