my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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