So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
