I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The Olympian is in my bed
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
