This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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