i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
