i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
