I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
