remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
