did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
