white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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