this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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