omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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