just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
