Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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