I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
