Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
