Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
