Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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