Where did you get a picture of my penis
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
