I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
