Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
