You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize