I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
