He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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