Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
