Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And then the night went full on bisexual.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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