so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
