this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
