The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize