we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
