What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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