so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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