This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Congratulations! We have a period
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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