He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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