you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
