if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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